the end and a new beginning

tomorrow morning we'll be driving to Mercy to be induced. Our check in time is 5:30am. I'm a mix of emotions right now. Scared. Excited. Sad. I'm a bit sad to share my baby with the world, it's been just us for 41 weeks now and it's a bit strange but i've LOVED being pregnant. It's been amazing for me and i am sad to see my baby "go". On the other hand, I can barely stand it to find out if it's a boy or girl, what the baby will actually look like. Hair? Skin tone? How big and how long? The adventures that lie ahead are so exciting to me. Will my baby be a wallflower or a social butterfly? Shy? Clean freak? Also, i wonder how Bentley and Beemer will react when the baby comes home. I can't believe we are bringing home a baby. in a car. into our house that we have made. i love our house. i know our baby will love our house too. I hope to stay here so the baby will have memories of our sweet house and our sweet street and neighbors. Being induced was never really thought of, when the 18th came and went i thought hmmm, this baby is not ready. Ben remembered the ultra sound tech saying, "the baby is measuring for the 24th. but it's too close to the due date the doctor won't change it." well today is the 25th, and then comes the 26th and it's possible that the baby won't be born until MONDAY the 27th. I hope not, please, Lord, don't let that happen. We have been so patient, please let us have our baby faster than slower. i will have a little baby sucking on my boobs soon. I wish i would have read more books. more parenting books. more books on how to put a baby on a schedule. i'm scared, i fill ill prepared. That feeling comes and goes, but right now, i'm scared. on the way to the hospital i bet i'll be scared. Please let me get some good rest tonight, some real good sleep. and ben too. i want a great labor and delivery, i know it will be hard, i know it will take time. but i am me. i know what i am capable of and i know, without a doubt i will do so good tomorrow. and the baby will thank me for that. and so will ben. :)

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