I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it the first three months of C's life has been rough. I'm not saying I don't LOVE my baby, do i ever love her. But what i'm saying is what i expected and what is reality is completely different! The past 2 - 3 weeks i've been really struggling with thinking about supplementing formula some. The guilt i feel/felt is enormous. I think breastmilk is best for babies but my sanity and stress were going and gaining strength. I broke down to ben one night, that was a relief in itself, b/c i was ashamed/scared to tell him how i'd been feeling. These are some of the things i talked to him about....
i feel like she's not getting enough milk towards the end of the day
you never really know how much she is getting
i'm a slave - she eats every two to 3 hours about 40 minutes each time! whew!
cant be away from her very long unless i pump all day and then it's just one bottle!
don't like feeding her in front of people
feel isolated if we do go somewhere and i go feed her in another room
blah, blah, blah
a lot of those are selfish reasons. but for me to remain sane i needed to quit pumping. I do it once before bed and that's it now. before i would pump one while she ate the other! tiresome.
We gave her her first formula bottle on saturday. i felt bad. at first. now i feel awesome! we are looking into organic formula too. woot!